


Closure

by multifunctional



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Breakup, F/M, Meowrails, adultstuck, does adultstuck work for this? i think it does, post homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 07:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1736684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifunctional/pseuds/multifunctional
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Game was won.  Maybe.  Whether it was won or not, everyone was returned to their homes - but their worlds had forgotten them over time.  Nepeta is living now in an old space as a new woman.  Times change and people change, but sometimes it takes an extra little shove to truly let go of the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closure

It was raining hard outside. Good. Nepeta enjoyed the rainy weather. It was actually very comforting to hear the thrum of raindrops hitting the ground outside, occasionally dripping into the mouth of her cave. When she was really young, she and her lusus would curl up together and make up stories together to pass the time. It had always been a favorite kind of day.  
But that was sweeps and sweeps ago.

Nepeta was almost eleven sweeps old now, and that godforsaken game as well as essentially everything ever done inside of it was done and over with. All players who had died were restored to full health, so actually everybody was back to pre-game home and status: this meant seadwellers in the sea, all trolls back in their hives, and you happily in your cave. However, that only applied to the players. Much to the dismay of each troll (that’s to say nothing of the humans - god alive, it must have been terrible for them), their planet had been moving on without them and that included the passing of their lusii. But that’s to be expected when one spends circa two sweeps away from home.

Despite all this, the rain was still a comforting sound.

Nepeta padded over to one of the smaller “rooms” of the cave which had been stocked with cleaned soft pelts from the time she was very small. She nudged a few into a pile with her knee then collapsed into it to rub her aching feet. She dropped her head back and sighed, closing her eyes and inhaling the familiar scent of her home. She had done so much already but she felt like the time was wasting away. She let out a dry laugh at herself: once one has experienced death, one may feel that any down time is wasted time. She knew she shouldn’t worry, that she had a long life ahead of her yet, but it still didn’t quite feel complete. She wriggled back in her pile into an upright sitting position to look over herself, make sure she hadn’t sustained any actual injury from the morning’s hunt. Finding nothing of any particular concern, she shrugged. So she didn’t catch the antlerbeast. Whatever. She rolled over onto her stomach and buried her face into the furs to sigh again. It didn’t matter. She focused on the rain instead of her growling stomach. Soon enough, she did fall asleep.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Watery olive tears squeezed out of her eyes and dripped down her cheeks onto the stone below her. She didn’t know why she was crying right now; everything was fine. Things were fine. All was well and good, and still Nepeta cried. It was so frustrating. She only just woke up! This wasn’t helpful at all! Everything was fine, nothing was wrong, and she was so stupidly emotional. She grit her teeth and stared around herself in search of what might help her chill out.

.... Nothing was particularly grabbing her interest.

That being the case, she would be a mature almost-adult and set out to find a solution. She had to get out of the fur room, first.  
Her stomach made some hideous noises at her, reminding her as if she had forgotten that it needed to be fed.

“Shh, tummy, I know,” she muttered, pressing one arm over it to hopefully soothe it. “I’m working on it.”

She rifled through the pile of clothes she had left by her computer and old shipping wall from before. She cast a cursory glance over the mess of dried blood and pigment and rolled her eyes at the silly childhood game. It was fun, but not real life.

“Aha.”

She pulled her gloves out of the pile and pulled them on her hands and fastened them in place. She curled and flexed her fingers to make sure the fabric didn’t stiffen or constrict her movement, then searched for her shorts. She didn’t really fit in that old jacket anymore, but she kept that silly old jacket as well as a few cosplay things for sentimental reasons.

“Shorts, there you are. And… I’m set to go.”

She was able to find a well-fitting compression shirt at some online store a sweep or two ago, and she smiled when she put it on. Hunting was so much easier when her breasts didn’t bounce or get in the way of movement. She smoothed the fabric down and nodded in satisfaction. She cracked her fingers, toes, neck, and set for her nighttime spree. Small things would even do at this point. She knew she shouldn’t fret so much, but she had to check just one more time that the claws would come out on command and that her calloused bare feet would have enough traction on the forest floor for the necessary quick motion. She nodded, once again assured of her own capability, and ran out into the darkness.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

It was all Nepeta could do to keep from cackling in delight when she finally sunk her teeth into a maskfcacecreature. Its coarse grey and black fur wasn’t of the most pleasant flavor, but god, when she felt the warm blood and the squish of its meat - god she was positively bubbling with glee. She dropped the now limp creature into her hands and she wanted desperately to skin it to eat it, but… ah, no, she should catch something else. She ran it back to her cave then returned to her spot to stalk down something else. Maybe another maskfacecreature.

She stared out intensely with her blessedly strong night vision, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever made the sound she heard. It was shuffling and heavy… a large animal. She quieted her breathing and hunched down, preparing to pounce at the instant she saw it come out and drop its guard. Her muscles coiled and she struggled to stay still for much longer. At the next rustle of leaves, she went for it, bounding at the creature and latching onto its flesh with her strong limbs and sharp nails and claws.

She let go almost instantly when the creature gave a loud wail of pain that melted into unintelligible words. It took a moment to adjust from the rush of adrenaline to the realization that the creature she had jumped on was actually another troll.

“What…?”

Nepeta looked down at her fingers and found blue blood staining her skin. She blinked in disbelief: what blue blood would ever come all the way out -

“Oh my god.”

She sniffed her bloody fingers before actually crawling around the bush she had fallen behind to peer up at the other troll’s face. It couldn’t be….

“Equius? Equius Zahhak. Do… do you remember me?”

He turned slowly to look at Nepeta, whose eyes widened in fascination. She stood up slowly and tilted her head in curiosity, reaching out a hesitant hand to touch his face.

“I would prefer that you not touch me, oliveblood,” came the rumbling voice.

Nepeta was thrown into alarm.

“Equius, please say you remember me. Nepeta.”

She snatched her hand back and held it to her chest, trying to keep her breathing from quickening in confused paranoia or desperation. Okay, okay. So with the finishing of Sgrub, all connections had not been strengthened but essentially lost forever. So quadrants that were formed had dissolved. So everyone did have internet but still dropped contact with each other, so what? So everyone was all by themselves, so everyone worked independently in their own lives in this same limiting world. So what?

Nepeta grit her teeth again, drawing her lips back in a grimace against the stupid emotion she refused to let win. She clenched her hands into fists and let them drop to her sides, refusing to reach out to Equius. Refusing to touch him. His face looked different, but then she supposed hers did, too. He was taller. She had remained about the same (but was not a short woman, by any means). Nothing was connecting as Nepeta thought it should.

“So what?” she muttered flatly. “So what.”

“Excuse me?”

Nepeta looked up at the rather blank face observing her.

“I said, ‘so what,’ you giant… you.”

Even after five sweeps (plus dead time), she couldn’t bring herself to seriously insult him. He wasn’t moving.

“Are you going to even say anything?”

Her question was met with further silence.

“No? Nothing?”

She was beginning to fear that she was hallucinating his presence and that he wasn’t really even there at all. She growled when she felt tears fall over her cheeks anyway.

“Fine. Whatever. I gotta go anyway. Nice to see you.”

“Nepeta.”

“Now you say something.”

“I don’t know….”

“Don’t know what?”

She turned around slowly, eyes narrowing bit by bit, and claws extending once more. Equius looked startled, a bit frightened, even. Good.

“I don’t… know… um, how to… talk to… you. Or anybody.”

“Nobody knows how to talk to anybody,” she replied testily. His slow and careful speech would not be an acceptable excuse of conversation or for avoidance thereof. For about five seconds, neither troll said a thing to the other.

“We drifted apart.”

“Yes, Equius, we all did. Nobody stayed close to anybody. We’ve all known this for sweeps.”

He was very visibly uncomfortable.

“So what are you doing out here, anyway?”

“I was…. I was expecting to look for… uh….”

“Yes?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know.”

“I don’t know.”

“You can’t come all the way out here, like, forever away from your hive and your workplace, to not know.”

“I-”

“Me, I live out here, remember. I still live in the same place, doing the same things. Just like everybody else, I presume. It is possible that some moved on. It is possible that some never have. There were a lot of people, Equius, and not a single one has stayed in contact. Not a single one.”

Nepeta’s tail twitched and she didn’t break eye contact with her once-moirail.

“It-It was a perplexing time when we all returned….”

“Yes. Yes it was. But when I tried to contact almost any single person after our return and restoration, not one of them messaged me back. Except Terezi, but that was only once ever. She had to remember how to live with being blind again. I never really lost how to live, but I imagine that as with everyone else we all had to get used to it.”

“You sound so accusatory.”

“Maybe because I am accusing! Maybe I am accusing you of never speaking to me for almost five godforsaken sweeps! Maybe it was only four, but ‘only’ four hardly sounds appropriate. Maybe everybody who had any sort of standing relationship should have made some effort to contact each other! Why did everybody just stop?”

Nepeta’s tears had returned but now they were ones of rage. She spread her feet and slowly lowered her center of gravity, preparing for a fight.

“We used to be so close. When did that stop? You’ve obviously reverted to your tightassed casteist ways. Right when I thought you were going to become more accepting, you show up near my cave and have the audacity to simply refer to me as   
‘oliveblood.’ I do not appreciate that.”

Equius was suddenly aware that she had dropped down and tensed up his own muscles to prepare for a fight.

She could take him.

Nepeta put as much force behind her as she could when she launched herself at Equius. She was propelled very quickly by the force of her kick off the ground, snarling when she latched onto the larger troll’s form. She moved quickly and accurately with each slice and punch, wrestling with him until she was on his back and in control.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Both trolls lay on the soft grass, bloody and panting after such a rough fight. Nepeta wasn’t sure whether or not she was relieved that Equius fought back with her; it was definitely better to have an actual fight than a stoic and unmoving opponent. Of course, she didn’t see why, with no tie to her anymore, he shouldn’t have fought back. A smile pulled at her lips. That spar was fun. She turned her head and looked at Equius just a few feet away.

“Hey, Equius?”

A grunt was made in reply.

“We should fight again sometime.”

“Are you assuming something as forward as a kismesisitude is to become of-”

“No.”

Nepeta looked back up at the sky.

“It was just nice spending time with you again, and now I have some closure. You’re obviously not interested in speaking with me ever again, and I’m sorry it had to come to that, but thank you.”

“You’re thanking me for a fight?”

“Like I said, friend. Closure.”

She stood up, facing away from Equius, and removed her shirt to wipe the blue and green blood off her face and legs. She walked back home to her cave without another glance at him. She had a maskfacecreature waiting for her to eat right up. About time, too.

By the time she carefully peeled off the skin and set it by the mouth of the cave to take and wash the following day, the rain was beginning to fall outside again. She smiled to herself, tearing a chunk of the creature’s meat off and licking it absently. This time, the rain felt completely new, free of any past entanglement. This was her life, and she would live it however she wanted. She let out a ringing laugh before standing to approach her shipping wall. So many friends and relationships had melted away. She searched specifically for the small diamond between her face and Equius’, licked her thumb, and smeared the little doodle away.

Things were alright, and tomorrow she would go out and find and catch that damn antlerbeast for a breakfast treat to herself.

**Author's Note:**

> I saw that there was a lack of fanfictions about Nepeta being strong, according to Princess Harumi, and so I tried to write one to amp up the supply! .... /)~(\ I tried to do angry/confused emotions and I didn't know how to write a fight scene but I tried. Sorry it might not be great, but... here it is! <3


End file.
